


Courage in Unlikely Places

by leradny



Category: My Time At Portia (Video Game)
Genre: Crack Taken Seriously, Gen, Phobias, Self-Insert, Wish Fulfillment, but SPECIFICALLY and ONLY the part where someone is very supportive and nonjudgmental of a phobia, can be taken as romantic or platonic, can you really say you know someone if you haven't vomited in front of them, i do not nor will i EVER want giant ladybugs in my life please no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28598223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leradny/pseuds/leradny
Summary: phobia/ˈfō-bē-ə/: (n) an intense, persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, situation, or person that manifests in physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat, or shortness of breath, and motivates avoidance behavior.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Courage in Unlikely Places

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is the stupidest thing i have ever written.
> 
> i've been wooing arlo, aka Captain of my Heart, when he decides to take my builder running for a week. great! except i didn't know the waterfall took us past every single FUCKING group of mr. ladybugs, aka CREATURES WHICH STRIKE MORE FEAR INTO ME THAN PYRAMID HEAD. i mean, pyramid head scares me too but that's a RATIONAL fear. he was INTENDED to be scary. mr. ladybugs are fat red bugs with scarves! dr. xu gathers herbs like right next to them. the town children pick apples from the trees without a care in the world.
> 
> but to me???? those things fall horribly short of cute. when i realized i had avoided the gate at central plaza for the game equivalent of six months i realized that would count as a debilitating phobia in real life. so of course i decided to write a story about it.

Whenever Gale called the Civil Corps to the town meetings, Arlo was always on edge. Portia was peaceful, but that was because of the hard work and diligence from all members of the Corps. They'd settled into a fairly stable routine by now. Having a new challenge added to their workload--be it monsters, thieves, or what have you--meant shifting everything else around and the delicate balance they'd attained would be teetering even further.

"Now I've got an issue of importance to discuss at this town meeting because we want the Civil Corps to find the cause of this. Django, you were the first to complain."

"Arlo, we've heard screaming on the other side of the wall for days now. It's very upsetting--my customers have been avoiding the restaurant! Something has to be done!"

"The children are scared!"

"And it interferes with my research!" Merlin cried.

"Oh. Ah. Actually, I can explain that right now." Arlo cursed himself for forgetting something as simple as a warning to the rest of the town. He cleared his throat and looked at the builder, Deirdre. She climbed up a few steps and turned to face the crowd.

"Yes, that would be me," she said. She fidgeted with her black hair, tied back into a braid. "It's because I'm... working on a... personal project. I'm terribly sorry, I just now realized I'd forgotten to mention the, ah, change in noise level."

"What could possibly involve screaming bloody murder for three days straight?"

Her face was a dusky tan, but she still managed to turn beet-red with embarrassment, so Arlo decided to speak for her. Discreetly, of course. "Deirdre is working on confronting a phobia. The screaming is--"

"Are you scared of the ladybugs?" came someone's voice from the crowd. It parted slightly to reveal Antoine.

"That's personal--" Arlo insisted, but Antoine forged ahead.

"--Cause I've seen your house and it's either them or the llamas."

Deirdre sighed. "Yes, it's the ladybugs."

Higgins smirked; there was no mistaking it. He and Deirdre had a very tense rivalry. There was a whole altercation where Higgins accused Deirdre of stealing a pickaxe from him and demanding a new one, which Sam refuted by saying she saw him break it on a wall in the mines. But before the situation could escalate, Antoine exclaimed, "Good for you, honey!"

"Don't worry, Deirdre," Lucy said, with every single possible good intention. "It's a very common phobia! I can't count how many children have been terrified of them throughout the years." The builder sighed, grumbling something about her age again.

"I have noticed you never use the central gate," Merlin commented. "Considering you've lived here for six months, it was rather improbable and I suspected you were intentionally avoiding it. A phobia is a perfectly understandable reason."

"Well, anyway!" Arlo said, trying to usher the conversation along and spare the builder any more public embarrassment. "The screaming is a bit... involuntary--"

Higgins snorted. Deirdre glared at him.

"But we assure you, no one is getting hurt!" Arlo insisted. "Phobias are very real, very important issues. Deirdre is working extremely hard on managing this one and I am truly confident she will only need a few more days before we're at a point that we can stop."

There was nodding and agreeing. Gale moved on to another subject, then dismissed everyone. Deirdre wove and darted through the crowd without saying good night to anyone. Nobody blamed her.

\- - -

_THREE DAYS AGO_

It had been a long time since the workshop next to Sophie's ranch had been occupied. Going on a run with Paulie and the other members of the Civil Corps meant Arlo had a fair view of the progress being made. Deirdre was the builder's name. In six months she'd transformed it from a tiny cabin to a good-sized house, and bought the next lot over to house an upgraded assembly station. Scraps, no longer a stray, was wandering about, sniffing at several planter boxes. They had the large, showy leaves of pumpkin vines.

She was glancing over at a cutter and tapping her foot with a scowl. The machines ran at every hour of the day and night, as far as he knew, and she still complained about never having enough materials. Arlo slowed his run and knocked on the fence as they were both outdoors. "Hello, Deirdre!" Scraps wagged his tail and ran over, collar jingling. Arlo knelt to scratch him between the ears. "And hello to you too, Scraps! I'm afraid I've no food for you today."

"I literally just fed him," Deirdre said, smiling. "Get away from the captain, Scraps."

"Please, it's just Arlo. Anyway," she looked back up at him. "I'm in need of a running partner this week. I'd ask Sam but she said, and I quote: 'God, no, Arlo. I already see you every day.' And I can't ask Remy because of his knee."

"Sounds good! I need some exercise that doesn't keep me in my yard or in the ruins--and it'll be a few hours for these planks to finish. Let me put my tools away."

"Right." Arlo looked around and chose the eastern path, completely at random. "Let's go to the waterfall."

"The--" She dropped her hammer right onto her foot.

"Are you all right?!"

She nodded and crouched to pick up her hammer. "Steel-toed boots." She kicked her a leg of her worktable with a thud of leather and metal. "These paid for themselves after the third time I dropped something." Her laugh was much higher-pitched and quaky. Arlo raised a brow. "Um, so, you said we were going to the waterfall?"

"Yes." He instantly noticed her hesitance. "I thought it'd be a reasonable distance for someone who's building up their endurance, and a good warm-up for me if nothing else." She frowned. "What's wrong? Are you sure you're not hurt?"

"No, no! No, no, no, no, no, no." While Deirdre seemed to be assuring him, the repetition was a bit too excessive to convince him. "I just... can't go to the waterfall."

Arlo looked to the field where colorful llamas grazed and Mr. Ladybugs did... whatever they did. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. "Well, we could always run to the Tree Farm instead--but in case this is a problem I can solve, I really would like to know why. I've run along that way many times and I've never seen anything that might prevent someone from passing through."

She frowned and looked around to see if anyone was in earshot--the only person was Emily and she was all the way on the other side of the field. "Promise you won't laugh." Arlo nodded gravely. She still leaned toward him and lowered her voice. "The giant ladybugs scare me."

"That makes sense." She still looked so embarrassed that Arlo assured her, "Honestly it's quite common. Half the children in Portia are terrified of them."

Deirdre made a displeased sound. "I'm an adult, Arlo! Even if I'm a foot shorter than you."

"Perhaps it'll help if you tell me why they're so frightening."

The builder had plenty of reasons which she was happy to rant about.

The Mr. Ladybugs had human faces. (Which was, he admitted, rather unnerving.) They stood so eerily still sometimes in the middle of the day for no reason she could see. (Arlo had never noticed that, it was usually motion that drew his eye.) When they did move, they pranced about waving their sticks in a manner that looked like some arcane and sinister ritual. (He took a look at the creatures, now doing the dance she complained about, and couldn't see what was so sinister about it, but phobias were irrational after all.) And why, oh, why did the Mrs. Ladybug show up sometimes? (Now _that_ was unnerving. Perhaps he should ask Merlin about it.)

"I just can't bring myself to face them," Deirdre told him. "I don't even go through the Central Plaza Gate because I only feel safe with a gigantic stone wall between me and them."

"I'm no psychologist but that sounds very serious," Arlo pointed out. "I can think of several reasons why the other gates might be inaccessible and they're not even emergencies. Suppose Django's getting a shipment in and the truck's blocking the--"

"I know!" She gave a frustrated sigh and rubbed her brow with a hand. "Sorry. I mean, I've already been late to a few appointments and once I skipped dinner because I couldn't get to the Round Table in time. I just haven't had been able to do anything about it."

He leaned on the fence, drumming his fingers on the top rail as he looked into the distance. "Listen, Deirdre. If you're open to it, we can get two birds with one stone during this training exercise. Running past them will help you confront your fear. You'll be perfectly safe. I'll defend you if they start to follow. And honestly, the llamas are more of a threat. People don't let their children near the llamas."

The builder looked to the nearest stand of trees. One of the boys was kicking down apples not three feet away from the now motionless ladybugs. She sighed.

"But there is absolutely no pressure," Arlo finished. "You can always say no and we'll run somewhere else. I won't think poorly of you for it."

"You know what, it is a good idea to desensitize myself to a phobia which interferes with my work and life in a negative manner. But answer me one question first."

"What?"

"What are _you_ scared of?"

Arlo didn't have to think very hard. "Needles."

"Isn't the clinic right next to--"

"Yes. Phobias are irrational."

So Deirdre changed her shoes and put on a sturdy long-sleeved coat before they started off their run. "We'll keep it short for now and only run past the first group of ladybugs," Arlo decided. "Let's get you through that gate."

"Hi Arlo!" the boy yelled. Toby, it was.

"Hello Toby," he called back.

Deirdre hung back, clearly hoping not to be noticed. Toby didn't, as he was stuffing all of the fallen apples into a bag. But every time he stepped closer to the Mr. Ladybugs, Deirdre flinched. Arlo waited till Toby left before he turned to the builder and said, "I'll be right behind you. You can walk if you'd like, just make sure to keep moving. And breathing!" he added, because he noticed she hadn't even blinked.

She took a deep breath. "Can you stay between me and the ladybugs?"

"Of course."

Arlo decided to stay some thirty yards away, letting Deirdre dictate the pace. She slowed to a jog, then a walk, keeping her eyes fixed firmly on the Central Plaza gate. Perhaps it helped that the Mr. Ladybugs were now motionless. At the point in their walk where they were closest to the group, she clutched Arlo's arm, switching her gaze frantically from the creatures to the gate and not moving at all. Arlo told her, "You're doing fine. Just keep moving, don't freeze. We can go further away if you'd like."

She looked toward the llamas, currently grazing in the opposite stand of trees, and shook her head. "I don't want to step in llama manure."

"We can go to the Tree Farm instead."

The Central Plaza Gate was in view. Deirdre shook her head again with a sigh. "No, let's finish this. We're already more than halfway."

So they inched along, expanding a run which should have taken fifteen minutes into well over half an hour. Arlo didn't grudge her the time. He could always go for a proper run later. Even when the grip on Arlo's arm became rather painful, he reminded Deirdre to breathe and focus only on their goal, reaching Central Plaza, which had her relax just the tiniest bit.

Then out of nowhere the Mr. Ladybugs started their prancing with sticks again, and the builder let go of his arm to take off screaming for the gate.

Arlo stayed behind a moment to check if the Ladybugs were following (they hadn't even noticed--or maybe they had, it was difficult to tell) before sprinting after her. He found Deirdre in the middle of the plaza, doubled over with her hands on her knees and gasping for air. "Deirdre, look--" She looked about to bolt again but Arlo quickly took her shoulder. "No, I meant look at the gate! You've reached it! You're in Central Plaza!"

"I what?" she looked around. "I did! I can't believe it!" She laughed, a little shaky but relieved, not hysterical--like a weight had been taken off. "Six months and that's the first time I've been through the gate! Thank you, Arlo!"

She threw her arms around him on an impulse and he hesitantly returned the hug. When they parted there was a bit of an awkward silence. He couldn't remember the last time he'd hugged someone. A pat on the shoulder, a handshake, yes, but hugging? Maybe she was just the type of person who hugged a lot.

Fortunately, Deirdre changed the subject herself--by running to the nearest rubbish bin and vomiting.

Arlo followed to hold back her hair. It seemed polite.

\- - -

On the second day, Deirdre was wearing her running shoes and ready to go as soon as he reached her house. She actually managed to maintain a light jog up until they came into view. Again, she handled herself much better when the ladybugs were holding still, and motion spooked her--but notably, she didn't scream quite as long this time. When Arlo reached her in the plaza, she was drinking water out of a flask she'd made and she looked pale but not about to vomit.

"You did well today!" he said, with a pat on the shoulder. "Now, as for tomorrow, I've something to do for Gale and the only time I can do it is before my Corps shift starts. I'll fill Sam and Remington in if you'd like to keep up with one of them--but you could also run by yourself somewhere else or take a break."

"No, Sam is great! I haven't talked to her in a while."

\- - -

"--and every now and then, check to see how Deirdre's handling herself," Arlo finished. "Remember, this is careful, controlled confrontation."

"Scare the living daylights out of her, got it." Sam whistled to her horse before Arlo could do anything. "Come on, Teddy!"

"No!" He tried to grab Teddy's bridle, but she was already well out of his reach.

He heard from Django that Sam rode her horse right up to Deirdre's gate at a gallop and shouted, "START RUNNING! THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND ME!" with an answering scream from the builder.

Remy tutted and shook his head for much longer than necessary. "You had to ask Sam."

"Deirdre _said_ she wanted Sam to sub in for me."

"And was she aware that Sam is the _opposite_ of careful and controlled, especially when not on duty?"

"Oh, come off it!" Arlo snapped.

\- - -

"How was your run with Sam?" Arlo asked the next day.

Deirdre shrugged. "All right. Different." Arlo winced. "But all right." She looked to the eastern path and sighed. "Let's get this over with."

At the Round Table, the distant sound of screaming caused several of the diners to look up from their meals. Django quickly assured them that it was nothing to worry about and turned the music player up a few notches.

\- - -

On the fifth day, Deirdre had shadows under her eyes in the morning and Arlo, having also had a late night, suspected that he looked just as worn. "Are you all right, Deirdre?"

"I can't do it," she admitted. "Not today."

"Do you still feel up for a run somewhere else?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

Despite the exhaustion for both of them making a slow, painful warm-up, the rest of the run went by quickly. "Your time's fantastic!"

"I've taken a real run after finishing my work for the day. It turns out when I'm not screaming, I have more breath to spend on actual exercise." She laughed. "This is ridiculous."

"But seriously," Arlo said. "Thank you for being brave enough to say you couldn't do it. It's very important to know your limits and I'm glad you trust me enough to speak up."

She smiled. And then turned red. Arlo pretended not to notice. It seemed polite.

\- - -

The break--and a good night's sleep--seemed to have done Deirdre well. What surprised him more upon the sixth day was the sword holstered on her back. "Mars asked me to get some sea urchin spines for umbrellas," she explained. "Can you teach me how to use this before our run?"

"All right, then." Her experience with the pickaxe and hatchet helped her very well through the basic slash and parry. "Now, normally if I'm training someone I'd suggest they fight the, er, ladybugs first." On account of how they were the slowest, weakest creatures in the grasslands.

She sighed. "Let's go fight some Mr. Ladybugs, then."

In the research center, a faint, rising scream from afar caused Merlin and Petra to look up from their notes. Captain Arlo was in the middle of one of his phobia confrontation sessions with Deirdre. "Remember, Deirdre, you can scream all you like--but _keep moving!_ " The screaming continued, though accompanied by clanging swords and squishing sounds.

"Honestly," the director commented. "I'm astounded at that woman's lung capacity."

Louder buzzing announced the arrival of a Mrs. Ladybug.

"Hmm." Petra wrote something down. "I should ask if they killed or injured all the male ones before the Missus arrived."

"Yes, Petra, that would be a very useful piece of data--"

"Head for the gate!" Arlo shouted. "The Missus is too strong for you!"

Petra looked out the window to find the Builder leaning on a bronze sword, covered in slime and bug guts. Martha offered her a free cinnamon bun, and Carol lent her a towel which she used to wipe off her clothes and her sword.

\- - -

"I've a surprise for you, Deirdre."

"Yay," she said flatly.

"You get to pick which way we're going today."

"Me?" She raised both eyebrows. "Why?"

"It's all very well and good for someone else to give you a push in the right direction," Arlo explained. "We've all needed it at some point. But eventually you're going to have to deal with this by yourself, and that means actively choosing to confront your fear."

"I guess that makes sense."

"So I'll follow you this time." With that, Arlo stepped aside.

Deirdre looked in the direction of the tree farm, then into the city. When she looked back at him, he shrugged and kept his mouth shut. When she looked east to the gate, her shoulders tensed and she said self-consciously, "Stop me if I'm taking too long."

"It's only been fifteen seconds."

"Oh."

The builder took a deep breath and started running. To his surprise she didn't turn into the central gate as they'd done before, instead keeping straight ahead. There were four points where Mr. Ladybugs gathered and they never seemed to get clear no matter how many people hunted them--and he realized that she would have had to go past at least two of them on her commission for Mars' umbrellas, because the urchins lived at the waterfall.

But she didn't turn to the waterfall either. She ran on until they reached the rock wall where the old, rusted Bassanio lift was, and Arlo followed her all the way back to her house.

"I really am proud of how much progress you've made," he said. "Eight times you ran past the Mr. Ladybugs, and not once did you scream."

"Django's customers will be left in peace!" Deirdre laughed as her house came back into sight and they turned the corner. "He's been giving me free slices of pumpkin pie, though. Would I be a bad person if I--"

She had one hand on the gate of her yard and then froze. It was already open, which was odd. "What's wrong?" And Arlo looked where she pointed to where a Mr. Ladybug was shuffling near her door.

Shutting the gate with a clatter, the builder scrambled backwards. The creature reacted to the noise, and Deirdre hid her face in her hands. This was worse than the screaming, he realized. All of the progress she'd made had vanished into thin air.

"It's all right," Arlo said. "It's fine, we'll just--"

"No, no, I can't go inside!"

"All of your furnaces are running, what if it causes a fire?"

"Everything's self-timed, they'll shut off when they're done."

"What if the ladybug knocks into them?" She shook her head frantically. He tried to encourage her and head off her panic at the same time, "Deirdre, you've been doing so well, I know you can--"

"I've been doing well because I used up _every single ounce_ of my courage on what I thought would be the last run! I didn't think I'd have to do it again so soon!" She was breathing much too hard. "Why is it in my house? How did it get in my _yard?"_ Her eyes were very wet. "I can't, Arlo, I can't go in there!"

"All right." Arlo paused. "Deirdre, look at me." She looked like she was about to bolt or burst into tears, but Arlo put both his hands on her shoulders and repeated, "Look at me." After a moment she hesitantly looked up. "It's fine. Really, it's fine if you can't do it right now." She looked past him, but he decided to block her view. "Go to the Round Table. Get something to drink. I'll chase the Mr. Ladybug away and tell you when it's out."

"Okay," she said--but when Arlo let go, Deirdre kept trying to look past him instead of turning.

"Don't look," he told her. "You'll freeze." She'd already frozen, in a sense, but that didn't bear repeating.

"I know."

He didn't like to order civilians around, but in this case it was necessary. "You trust me, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm a member of the Civil Corps. I am paid to do exactly this--to keep people safe from hostile creatures. And I've been doing it for six years now. I promise that thing won't follow you." Deirdre gave him a slight, jerky nod. "Now, turn around." He would give her a slight push if he had to, but she took a deep breath and turned on her own. "Good. Keep your eyes on the gate and keep moving till you get to the Round Table." She hurried off, chin down and arms crossed like she was hugging herself.

Arlo waited until Deirdre was around the corner before he turned. The Mr. Ladybug was--he supposed the word was dormant. He could dispatch of it in a single swipe of his sword, but there was a chance that seeing the eviscerated guts of a Mr. Ladybug all over the doorstep would be just as distressing to Deirdre as a live one. So he grabbed a branch as he'd seen numerous children do, and prodded at the creature until it snapped out of its open-eyed daze, tumbled over the fence, and wandered back to its fellows.

\- - -

Arlo closed the door of the Civil Corps and sighed, making Remy and Sam look up from their coffee.

"Bad run?" Sam asked.

"It actually went fine until we got back to her house. A ladybug got into her yard, speak of the devil."

"Got in her yard?" Remington repeated. "Those things can barely get around a tree. The only reason they've survived this long is because of sheer numbers. Like the illusion bunnies, except you can eat those."

"Hmm." That was a point, he recalled the gate had been swinging when they arrived. "You're right, come to think of it. A fence is too high for them to jump. And they aren't bright enough to open the gate."

"Know that game kids play, poking the Mr. Ladybugs with sticks?" his green-haired colleague asked. "Could have pushed one over Deirdre's fence and ran off so they wouldn't get in trouble."

"No, it was milling about by her door and the gate was open."

"Oh, no." Sam scowled. "Well, actually I can see a kid dumping a Mr. Ladybug into the yard of someone who's terrified of them. Kids can be mean like that."

"I don't think a kid would know it was Deirdre," Arlo said. "Kids don't go to the fireside meetings, you know they never ask their parents about it. Also, it's a lot of effort. They'd have had to do it while we were running. And I didn't see any kids around yesterday."

"Hmm." Remington sipped his coffee and pointed out, "Now, who does Deirdre know that makes things, lives a short walk away, and has a motive to keep her out of her workshop? Oh, right. Higgins."

"It isn't always Higgins," Arlo countered. "Deirdre is biased against him. Remember how those threatening letters turned out to be Huss and Tuss?"

"Yeah, well," Sam said, "He's not out of the running. Didn't he lie about Dee stealing a pickaxe once? She can literally make her own any time she wants, why would she steal his stuff?"

"But if Higgins has a solid alibi this time, we'll have to drop it," Arlo told them. "Mean-spirited as it is, we've no time to question all the kids, much less give them a talking to on how bullying is wrong."

Remington gave a heavy sigh. "We know, Arlo."

"Fine." Sam crossed her arms. "But once my shift's over I'm talking to Lucy." She pounded one fist in her other hand. "That kid--or whoever it was!--will clean our stables for a week."

Remy came back with the disappointing news that Higgins did have an alibi, having been in a meeting with both Albert and Gust that entire morning. Nor were any of the children absent that day. Lucy reminded Sam that Deirdre had gone running two hours before everyone else had even woken up, not to mention the builder's house was a mile outside of town. With no leads, the case was dead on arrival. Deirdre still thanked the Corps for their time. She gave a bottle of bamboo incense to Sam, a dish of Django's supremely spicy spaghetti to Remy, and a brand new iron sword to Arlo.

Arlo told Nora about it. She said, "Yes, I'd heard. It's terrible to use someone's fears against them in such a way! Minister Lee had just sent an angry letter to Deirdre the week before--and while I agreed with him fully at the time, I had to go check on her."

"I'm sorry? What about the Minister?"

"The Minister hadn't agreed with her building a relic," she said. "It was a weapon of some sort, so he sent her an official reprimand. Why?"

Arlo hesitated. Nora was very much loyal to her superior, to the point of not quite accepting how some of the townspeople had legitimate reason to dislike the man. To question her further, moreover to even hint that the Minister might have done something that was _not nice_ , might become very difficult. And that was without his personal attachment to Nora. So he said, "Nothing, just clarifying," and made a note to ask Deirdre about it.

Unfortunately Deirdre told him she had no interest in following the case. And, however much Arlo disagreed, that was that.


End file.
